TLDR: As we grow in our understanding of theology for ourselves and to teach it to kids, we are to grow in two directions: deeper and wider. Both are critical.
As we saw in Part 1 of this series, everyone is a theologian; the question is whether we are good theologians. We also saw that as a follower of Jesus, you are already a good theologian in several critical areas. But we also know that there’s ample room for all of us to grow. So, what specifically does that growth look like? We can think of growing as theologians in two primary directions.
Growing Deeper
So then, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, continue working out your salvation with awe and reverence, for the one bringing forth in you both the desire and the effort—for the sake of his good pleasure—is God.
Philippians 2:12–13 (NET)
In Philippians, Paul calls on us to “work out [our] salvation with awe and reverence.” This is one of those times when the smaller words we tend to read over quickly truly matter. Notice that Paul doesn’t say we are to “work for our salvation” There is nothing we can do to earn salvation. It’s surely earned by work, but not out work; it’s earned by Christ’s finished work. Also notice that Paul describes it as “your salvation.” There’s ownership in mind there; the reader/believer already has that salvation. So, what Paul is talking about here has nothing to do with acquiring salvation; you cannot acquire what you already have.
What, then, does Paul have in mind here? Think about the core pillars of the gospel that someone needs to understand and trust in to be saved: That God provided his Son Jesus to become human, live without sin, sacrifice himself, and rise again so that all who trust in him are forgiven and restored in relationship with him. There’s a lot there, and a lot more underneath it. To understand salvation, we also need to understand God as our Creator, sin and rebellion, holiness, the nature of substitutionary atonement, and much more. We can capture the essence of the gospel in a pamphlet or simple outline, but doing so only scratches the surface of the beauty and majesty of the gospel. We could focus on just one part of it and keep exploring deeper and deeper. And the more we explore, we’d also discover ways to live differently in light of what we learn. That’s what Paul had in mind in Philippians 2.
I like how J. D. Greear puts it: “The gospel is not just the diving board; it’s the pool.”1 In other words, the gospel isn’t just the entry into the Christian faith and life; it is the Christian faith and life. We should never move past the gospel then. Our calling as Christians, then, is to continue spending time in the Word of God to grow in our understanding of the gospel. Our calling as Christian parents or kidmin leaders is to study the Scriptures in this way so that we can pass what we learn along to our kids.
You might be thinking that you aren’t a trained theologian. But remember, you already have a head start; you have a firm grasp of the fundamentals of the gospel because that is what you needed to understand to be saved. The gospel waters are deep, deep waters. And these are waters we should never depart. So, dive deeper into who Jesus is and what he has done. Dive deeper into sin, mercy, and grace. Dive deeper into faith. Dive deep!
Growing Wider
Make every effort to present yourself before God as a proven worker who does not need to be ashamed, teaching the message of truth accurately.
2 Timothy 2:15 (NET)
This was Paul’s instruction to his protégé Timothy, a pastor, to teach the “message of truth” accurately. As a pastor, that would mean that Timothy was to teach the full counsel of Scripture accurately. This is a helpful reminder that while we can never move past the gospel, we can’t make the opposite mistake of teaching only the gospel proper. In other words, there is a place to teach subjects that are adjacent to the gospel (everything is) but aren’t at the core of the gospel. For example, part of the gospel is that Jesus is returning one day, but how he will do that wouldn’t necessarily be considered at the core of the gospel.
We can never leave the gospel waters, but neither do we just limit ourselves to them. We need to swim out wide. Explore the wonderful waters of all other aspects of theology: God, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, the church, the end times, and more. These are not necessarily what a person needs to know to respond to the gospel for salvation, but that doesn’t mean they’re unimportant.
As you grow as a theologian, don’t neglect this area. Don’t skip branching out wide and exploring various aspects of theology, including the different views of each. One enormous mistake we can make is locking in on a belief and only studying theology through that lens. So, for example, if you are a dispensationalist, don’t study eschatology (end times theology) only from that perspective. Study it from an amillennial and postmillennial view too. Look for the merits and weaknesses of those positions. You don’t have to agree with them to appreciate them. So, go wide in your areas of study and go wide in the perspectives of those areas too.
If you are looking for a resource to help you grow as a theologian and to help you teach your children theology, Faith Foundations is for you.These ninety-nine devotions use an ancient tool called a catechism to teach the core doctrines of the faith. Each devotion features a Bible reading, a devotion, several engaging questions, a Jesus connection, and a suggested family activity. Faith Foundations releases October 21, 2025 but you can preorder a copy today.
TLDR: Theology might seem like an intimidating field of study reserved for professional theologians wearing corduroy sport coats with elbow patches, but it’s not. Theology is simply what one believes about God; therefore, everyone is a theologian.
What do you think of when you hear the words theology and theologian? Probably something like this post’s cover image, right?1 You might picture some academic in a dusty office or library full of books, who is fluent in Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic, and Latin—at least. You might think of some terms that you’ve heard before but have no idea what they mean: hypostatic union, Gnosticism, anthropomorphism, creatio ex nihilo, epistemology, kenosis, and theophany.2 You also might think of famous theologians throughout church history: Augustine, Calvin, Arminius, Aquinas, Luther, Barth, Knox, and Athanasius.
While it’s true that some theological terms are doozies, and that God has blessed the church with scholars who know so much about so many theological concepts we’ve never even heard of, theology and theologian are much more than that. Theology isn’t an esoteric field reserved for a few; theology is an approachable area of study intended for everyone.
Theology isn’t an esoteric field reserved for a few; theology is an approachable area of study intended for everyone.
Defining Theology
The word theology means “the study of God.” Put another way, theology is what a person believes about God. Now, that belief about God can be deep or shallow, it can be wide or narrow, and it can be correct or incorrect. That belief about God can be based on decades of learning, it can be based on minutes of learning, or it can be based on no learning at all—more of an opinion. But because theology is simply what one believes about God, that means that everyone—not just our corduroy-sport-coat-clad friends at seminaries—is a theologian. That means you’re a theologian. And if you have kids, that means they’re theologians too.3 That even means the hostile atheist is a theologian. He or she has a belief about God (as wrong as it is): that God does not exist.
But because theology is simply what one believes about God, that means that everyone—not just our corduroy-sport-coat-clad friends at seminaries—is a theologian. That means you’re a theologian. And if you have kids, that means they’re theologians too.
The Core Question for Every Theologian
If everyone is a theologian, then the question isn’t really Who is a theologian? as much as it’s What makes a good theologian? Even a professional, trained theologian might not be a good theologian. He or she may have spent decades studying, writing, and teaching but have the wrong understanding of God and his ways.
Go back and look at the list of theologians I shared. Did you know that they didn’t all agree with each other? Sometimes they disagreed on some pretty important issues.4 And that generally means that one was right and one was wrong, or perhaps they were both wrong. Of course, no one holds to an error on purpose. Where those theologians disagreed, they believed they were in the right. They believed they had the proper understanding of God and his ways. But we are all humans with limited understanding trying to understand a limitless God. Sometimes we get it right; sometimes we get it wrong. And that includes the “professionals.”
Just like professional theologians can’t be right all the time and there are times when even they throw up their hands and say, “I don’t have a clue about this!” we won’t be perfect in our understanding of God either—we won’t have perfect theology. But don’t let that disappoint or frustrate you. We can get a lot about God right—especially the core issues of the gospel—because of God’s wonderful gift to us in the Bible. And God is kind to give us the Holy Spirit to help us study and understand that Bible and grow in our knowledge of God and his ways—to grown in our theology.
We can get a lot about God right—especially the core issues of the gospel—because of God’s wonderful gift to us in the Bible.
Because you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you’re a follower of Christ—you’ve placed your trust in Jesus as your Savior. That means you are an exceptional theologian in several key areas: That God is real; that Jesus is real; that Jesus came to earth, lived a sinless thirty-plus years, was crucified, and was buried; that on the third day, Jesus rose from the dead; that you are a sinner who was in need of a Savior; and that the only way to be saved is to place faith in Jesus.
That’s a good list! And I’m sure you know far more than that too. You probably have a great theology of who God is (he is love, holy, merciful, all-powerful, etc.) and the Bible (it is God’s word, it is inspired, it is inerrant, etc.). So be encouraged! You are already an amazing theologian!
In the rest of this series, we’re going to explore more about theology with the goal of helping teach theology to kids. Whether you are a kidmin leader, a parent, or both, God has called you to not only be a theologian, but he has also called you to be a theological instructor. Don’t let that intimidate you though! It’s truly not as hard as it might sound. And you won’t even have to buy a corduroy sport coat with elbow patches—unless you want to.
If you are looking for a resource to help you grow as a theologian and to help you teach your children theology, Faith Foundations is for you.These ninety-nine devotions use an ancient tool called a catechism to teach the core doctrines of the faith. Each devotion features a Bible reading, a devotion, several engaging questions, a Jesus connection, and a suggested family activity. Faith Foundations releases October 21, 2025 but you can preorder a copy today.
Don’t miss how apparently AI thinks a theologian like this can somehow balance a book on his knee. ↩︎
Hypostatic union is the joining of the humanity and deity of Jesus without mixture or compromise of either; Gnosticism was an early false belief that Jesus left a “secret knowledge” that only his true followers would know; anthropomorphism is the use of human descriptions to speak of God (e.g., God’s “hand” at work); creatio ex nihilo is God’s creating everything from nothing; epistemology is the study of knowledge, including how we can know anything and how we can be sure of what we know; kenosis is the self-emptying of the Son of God when he came to earth as described in Philippians 2; and theophany is an appearance of God in human form in the Old Testament, often thought to be the “angel of the Lord.” ↩︎
To be clear, I wouldn’t include babies here, or even most toddlers. To be a theologian, you must have reached the point where you can develop mentally-informed thoughts about God. But once a child reaches the point of even a simple understanding that there is a God, he or she has become a theologian. ↩︎
Sometimes it wasn’t the theologians themselves who disagreed strongly, but rather their followers. I placed John Calvin and Jacobus Arminius side-by-side because their followers disagreed especially strongly with each other. In fact, the debate about Calvinism and Arminianism—beliefs that were developed in full after each man died—continues to rage to this day. ↩︎
TLDR: Leaving a church can feel like a painful divorce, marked by sin and interpersonal conflict. While it’s often recommended to leave quietly to preserve unity, there are situations where confronting wrongdoing is necessary. It’s essential to assess whether to stay or to leave peacefully, or to “rock the boat,” using discernment, prayer, and respectful communication throughout the process.
Leaving a church is rarely easy. In some ways, it shouldn’t be. A church is like a family, which can make leaving one feel like a divorce. And just like in marriages, sometimes those divorces are less than amicable. At times, they’re downright messy. The reason is simple: those in Christ are not free of sin, and sometimes, counterintuitively, a church is the fertile soil that allows sin to blossom.
Compounding the difficulty of leaving a church is the prevailing thought that we should never “rock the boat” when doing so. No matter what, we mustn’t compromise the unity of a church or worse, do something that could cause a church split. Even if we’ve been wronged, it’s better to swallow our pain, anger, and pride, and leave the church quietly. Let go, and let God. At least that’s how the common thinking goes.
But is that right? Is God most honored when we leave a church quietly, no matter what? Or when we stay in one, but allow wrong that has been done to be swept under the rug? I’m not so sure.
When Not “Rocking the Boat” Is Indeed Right
Let me be crystal clear: I’m not saying that it’s always right to “rock the boat.” Far from it; most often, I probably agree with the prevailing wisdom of forgiving and forgetting or leaving quietly. Most often it’s the godly path to take. Here are four times when this is most likely true:
You Stay After A “Normal” Conflict
Not all conflict requires us to go to Defcon 1. Indeed, most of the time, when we experience conflict in a church, it can and should be resolved through a process of prayer, communication, repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. And then it should be over. Now, that doesn’t mean that your relationship won’t necessarily change with the other party. Restoration doesn’t always mean full restoration. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it takes time to get back to the relationship as it was. Sometimes it never will. But even in this last time, there should still be some semblance of a loving, friendly relationship in Christ.
You Leave Because Your Residence Changes
While much of the time when you move away you won’t have cause to “rock the boat” on your way out of a church, we still need to be careful not to offer “constructive criticism” as we walk out the door. Sometimes courage increases inversely with proximity. It’s easier to mention the thing that has been bothering us for a while when our bags are packed. But if it wasn’t bothering us enough to mention it before—when it could have been addressed—then it’s certainly not important enough to mention on our way out.
Now, that’s not to say that there can’t be a place for honest, loving constructive criticism—especially if we are asked to give it. If our heart is truly to help the church be better, then it might be worth sharing. But leaving a church in this context surely isn’t the time to vent.
You Leave Because Your Theology Changes
To grow is to change, and part of that change should be your theology. That might sound odd, but think about it. How likely is it that you landed on the right theological position on every issue as a new believer? Actually, it’s far more likely that some of your earlier positions were…well…flat out wrong. So doctrinal stability is not a sign of spiritual maturity, but change just might be.
Now, the first-tier essentials—the core doctrines—should be stable. Never move away from Jesus being the Son of God, the sinless Savior, who died and rose again on the third day. But your second-tier convictions and your third-tier preferences can certainly change. It’s always best to hold them loosely.
So, what happens when a second-tier conviction changes? To be clear, these are beliefs that are based on Scripture that often separate one local church from another. For example, infant baptism is one of these. It’s not a first-tier essential that identifies a believer from an unbeliever or an orthodox church from a heterodox congregation. But it does matter. It’s difficult for a person who holds to paedobaptism to worship in a church that holds to credobaptism. It’s in these times when it might be best to leave a church, but it’s critical to remember that you changed; the church didn’t. Your job isn’t to convince the rest of the church to swing over to your new theological stance. Rather, respect and love the church. Remember that until recently, you believed what they did. But if the issue is too important to remain as part of the church, leave graciously and peacefully.
You Leave Because Your Values Change
By “values” I’m not talking about doctrines necessarily, but rather what matters to you and your family. For example, this could be where a church has no student ministry to speak of and you have a student who needs those relationships. Or when you are in a church that does not value or participate in missions, but you develop a heart for missions. These values aren’t devoid of Scripture, but it’s not quite the same as changing a theological position. These values are more based on how we put what we believe into practice.
In the end, if you talk with the church leadership about your changing values and you believe it’s not the best for you to stay in that church, leaving graciously is the right thing to do.
Sometimes Leaving a Church Isn’t So Simple
But what about other times? What if the church changes. What if seemingly out of nowhere, the church adopts a doctrine or practice we disagree with or if it changes its vision and values? Or, what happens when the church wrongs us in some way, something that happens far more often than we want to admit?
Again, the prevailing wisdom is that even in these times, we shouldn’t “rock the boat.” Instead, we should leave quietly. But let’s carefully consider the three main reasons often given for doing this to see how at times it might be best for us not to leave quietly and perhaps not even leave at all.
Reason 1: “Rocking the Boat” Disrupts Harmony
This one might be the most common argument given for leaving a church quietly, even if we have been wronged. The idea is that it’s best for us to swallow our pride, take our lumps, and leave quietly, often without telling anyone about what has happened. To make a fuss means we will compromise the harmony of that church, and that is considered one of the worst things we can do. It’s better for us to just walk away with a self-imposed NDA, or at times to abide by an official or unofficial NDA given to us by the church.
We know that harmony in a church is critical. But we can’t make the mistake of equating harmony with godliness. Even the ungodly can walk together in harmony. So, harmony can be a sign of a church’s spiritual health, but it doesn’t prove it.
Some of the time, when others pressure us to preserve harmony, or we feel self-imposed pressure to be silent, what we’re really being asked to do is allow sin to go unchecked. This is not said lightly. Remember, we’re not talking about differences of opinion here—it’s not like we’re upset because the church painted the walls beige when we wanted them grey. We’re talking about situations in which church leadership has been involved in sexual, physical, emotional, and/or spiritual abuse. We’re talking about situations in which toxic leadership has been displayed. We’re taking about situations in which members have acted sinfully. We’re talking about situations that would not be allowed to stand in most secular organizations.
To leave quietly in situations like this to preserve harmony most likely will simply allow that behavior to continue. A quiet departure can be a covering for sin. Don’t forget, Jesus turned over tables in the temple (Mark 11:15–18)—there was nothing harmony-preserving about that! It was more important for him that sin end than the veil of harmony be preserved. We can learn much from that.
I need to pause here to make something absolutely clear. In times like this, I’m not saying it’s wrong for us to leave quietly. I don’t want to add an additional burden already on top of how we’ve already been wronged. It’s not a matter of what we should do, but rather what we can do. If we have it within ourselves to take a stand against sin, I believe we can. I believe it’s right for us to do so, even if others would accuse us of “rocking the boat.” But I also believe we can indeed leave quietly, if that is what we need to do to protect ourselves.
Reason 2: “Rocking the Boat” Seeks Vengeance
Another reason often given against “rocking the boat” is that to do so is to seek vengeance, and we should leave vengeance to the Lord. It’s true that we should leave vengeance to God (Rom. 12:19), and if that is our motive for “rocking the boat,” then we very well might be in the wrong. However, often the desire of the wronged person isn’t vengeance, but rather accountability and justice.
Seeking vengeance is a desire for retaliation, fueled by our hurt and anger of being wronged; seeking justice and accountability is a desire for God’s truth and ways to prevail, fueled by his holiness. Vengeance puts us at the center of the matter; justice and accountability put God at the center. Wanting vengeance cares mostly about ourselves; wanting justice and accountability cares mostly about the church.
God takes the holiness of the church seriously. The account of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5 proves this. At first blush, striking down this couple for lying about the proceeds of the land they sold seems rather harsh. But this was at the start of the church and God didn’t want to give any sin a foothold into the Bride of Christ. Acts 5 is God gravely warning us that he takes the church’s holiness seriously, and thus we should too. Sometimes that means “rocking the boat” is the best thing to do.
Reason 3: “Rocking the Boat” Distrusts God
A third common reason given for not “rocking the boat” is that it’s best for us to trust God to handle the situation. God knows everything; he’s fully aware of what is going on and he will bring to pass whatever he wills through it all. So, be quiet and let God handle his business.
It’s indeed true that God is aware. It’s true that he will do what he wills in the situation. However, the problem here is that we cannot neglect the possibility that we are the chosen instrument God wants to use to bring his will about. Consider evangelism. God draws people to himself for salvation and a person must trust in Christ to be saved, but God has chosen to use us as evangelists. Both are true: God controls the process and God invites us in to be part of that process.
There’s an old preacher story of a man stuck on his roof during a rising flood. The man cries out to God to rescue him. Soon after, someone in a canoe comes by, but the man refuses rescue, saying that God will rescue him. Soon after that, someone in a boat comes by, but the man again refuses rescue because he says God will rescue him. Soon after that, a helicopter flies over head, but once more the man refuses rescue because he says God will rescue him. Soon after, the waters rise and the man drowns. When he reaches heaven, he asks God why he didn’t save him, and God responds, “What do you mean? I sent a canoe, I sent a boat, and I sent a helicopter!”
We just might be the canoe, boat, or helicopter God wants to use to address sin in a church.
How to “Rock the Boat”
If there is indeed a time when “rocking the boat” is the right thing to do, how do we do that? Just because we might be right to “rock the boat” doesn’t mean we’ll do it in the right way. Both matter. Here are four “gauges” to monitor.
The Right Issue
Just because a church has wronged us doesn’t mean it’s automatically right or best to “rock the boat.” As we’ve seen earlier, there could be a time when we determine that it’s best to leave quietly, or that it’s best to stay, but overlook what has happened. This might be especially true if what we’ve experienced is an anomaly. One offense—even a grievous one—could be forgivable, even if the person who wronged us fails to repent.
But what if there is a pattern of wrong? Or what if the wrong is systemic; it’s not just one person, but it’s a group of people acting in concert? What if we believe we aren’t the only ones who have been wronged, or that others could be likewise wronged in the future? These could all certainly be clues that the issue at hand is worth a confrontation.
Another pause is needed here. If there is ever anything illegal occurring, then we need to involve the police in the matter. If, for example, we learn of sexual abuse, the question isn’t just one of staying or leaving quietly or “rocking the boat”; a crime has been committed and we should contact the police, especially if we are a mandatory reporter.
The Right Process
Because sin is involved, the process Jesus gives us in Matthew 18:15–17 kicks in.
“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector.”
Matthew 18:15–17, NET
The first step is, of course, to go directly to the person or people who have sinned against us and talk with them about it. If we are on staff and our pastor or elders have sinned, we are to go talk with them. If we are the pastor and members of the church have sinned against us, we need to talk with them. If we are a church member and a staff member or elders have sinned, we are to go talk with them. Have a direct, honest, but carefully-toned discussion. Try to go in with more questions than statements. Ask for their perspective of the situation. Give a chance for them to explain. Perhaps no sin has occurred, but rather there has been a misunderstanding. Alternatively, give the opportunity for confession and repentance. If that happens, extend forgiveness as Jesus commands, and talk about ways to restore the relationship and trust moving forward. If possible, come up with tangible steps and determine how to evaluate progress. Set a time to follow up on that progress.
However, if this conversation doesn’t go well, then the next step would be to bring witnesses into a follow-up conversation. Now, some require these witnesses to be witnesses to the sin itself. And if we have witnesses to the sin, it would be ideal to include them. But often, we are sinned against in private; there are no witnesses. That doesn’t mean that we must drop this process after the first conversation as some might claim. Rather, these witnesses are witnesses to this second meeting itself. They are there to testify that the meeting took place (to allow for the third step of the process if it is needed), to what was discussed, to the tone of the discussion, and to other factors.
If this second meeting isn’t successful, then Jesus tells us to take it to the church. Now, what this means isn’t clear, and it depends on our context. For some of us, this means going to other leaders in the church, such as elders, deacons, a personnel committee, a finance committee, or some other committee or group. For others, this might mean going to the lead pastor or other staff member. For others, this might mean taking it before the church body at a business meeting.
If this final step isn’t successful, then it becomes a matter for us of whether we can stay or not. Often, if we’ve gone through this process, we won’t be able to. And in a time like this, it’s best to “shake the dust off our sandals” and be on our way, knowing we strived to be obedient to Christ and that we can sleep well knowing we did so.
One final word is needed here. What do we do when others in the church ask us about what has happened? There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer here; there are too many variables. But the rule of thumb should be for us to share the least amount we have to while being honest. Don’t miss that last part. Sometimes we are told that we should simply tell people something like, “Oh, God has called me away.” But that’s not true, and we don’t want to sin ourselves. Instead, consider how to provide a range of true answers that are more generic to more precise that we can give depending on the context of who is asking. A fellow church member might get a generic answer. A family involved in the ministry we led might get a more specific answer. An elder, deacon, or staff member still a more specific answer. Be true, but be gracious, wise, and careful too.
The Right Attitude
Often, “rocking the boat” will take some time. And that means even if we begin the process with the right attitude and intentions, that can change. If the first meeting with the person or people who have sinned against us doesn’t go well, we can easily move from spirit-led to anger-led. So, it’s critical that we continue to monitor our heart and motives throughout the entire process. Ideally, this means we’d have someone to come alongside us and hold us accountable. This person needs permission to speak truth to us, even if that isn’t easy. It’s never right to confront sin in a sinful way.
The Right Outcome
As we set out to “rock the boat,” we need to know that things very well might not turn out the way we want them to—the way they should. We need to pray to that end, of course, but we also need to prepare for any other outcome. And as we navigate the process, we need to strive to be at peace no matter how things turn out, knowing that God has not failed and that justice is not thwarted. Justice delayed is not justice denied. We need to be okay with that.
We need to ask God to give us peace with any outcome, and to pray for the church’s spiritual health no matter what. Then, we need to move on with our lives—there or elsewhere. This might mean we seek biblical counseling and/or assistance from a licensed mental health therapist to help us process what we’ve experienced and to find healing. That might take time, and trust may be shaken for quite a while, but we need to do what we can to be on that path.
Conclusion
We all wish there would be no need for us to consider “rocking the boat” in a church. But because of sin, there is a need. As we’ve seen, it’s a complex, multi-faceted issue. There are few clear answers—to leave quietly, to stay quietly, to leave while “rocking the boat,” or to stay while “rocking the boat”—and even when a path is determined, the steps are rarely easy. There can be hurt, fear, anger, and trauma. But know that God is in the middle of the process no matter what. Know that his glory is paramount and that he will sustain you, guide you, and even correct you should it be needed. Hold tightly onto him and loosely onto all else. He will sustain you.
So, what do you think? Am I off here? Have I missed something? Feel free to let me know what you think.
TLDR: As parents and ministry leaders, we invest in many good things related to our kids, but the best thing we can invest in is discipling them in a way to flourish.
Imagine that it’s May 1997, and you’re trying to get Hanson’s recent ear worm release, MMMBop, out of your mind, so you decide to look for a stock to invest $1,000 in. You could invest in an index fund in the S&P 500 or in the Nasdaq, but Microsoft sure is enticing. Conversely, there’s Apple, but you’ve heard it is near bankruptcy and you don’t know of many people with Apple computers. You have also heard about the online bookstore, Amazon, going public and selling $18 shares. You like books, but is an online bookstore really worth you investing in?
So, what would you do?
If you had invested in the S&P 500, that $1,000 would be worth about $6,000 today.
If you had invested in the Nasdaq, you’d have about $11,000 today.
Microsoft would have done much better: $24,000 today.
Then there’s Apple. That $1,000 today would be worth over $1.34 million today.
And how about Amazon? You guessed it; had you invested your $1,000 at the closing price on the day of the IPO, you’d have $1.87 million today.
No matter what you had invested in, you’d be better off today. But two of those stocks truly stand out, which is why so many of us who could have invested in either Apple or Amazon around thirty years ago, kick ourselves for not doing that.
A Sure Thing
Of course, the pain of this exercise only comes from our perfect hindsight. It would have been difficult to find reason to invest in either Apple or Amazon in 1997—they were nothing like they are today. But what if we talked about a “sure thing,” but not one that has anything to deal with stocks. I’m talking about our kids.
While God has not promised us that if we teach our kids the gospel, they will 100 percent for sure trust in Jesus for salvation and thrive spiritually, it is a maxim—a truism. God blesses our faithfulness. Conversely, while it’s not absolute that if we fail to disciple our kids that they will never trust in Jesus, we can understand how challenging it would be for them to love and follow Him. So discipling our kids isn’t an absolute sure thing, but in general it’s not far from one.
While God has not promised us that if we teach our kids the gospel, they will 100 percent for sure trust in Jesus for salvation and thrive spiritually, it is a maxim—a truism.
Choosing the Best Investment
This takes us to the question of investing. While there are many good investments we can make with our kids in mind like school, sports, travel, music, and so forth, none of those are best. Don’t misunderstand what I am saying here. I am not saying we shouldn’t invest in these activities; we can and we should. What I want us to consider, though, is a matter of good vs. best, not right vs. wrong. While these areas are good investments, the best one is discipleship. What we don’t want to happen is twenty years from now for us to look back to today and realize we skipped the “Apple stock” or “Amazon stock” in our investment portfolio with our kids.
So, what does this look like? How can we invest in what matters most? Let me parse an answer to that based on whether you are reading this as a parent or a ministry leader.
Investing as a Parent
If you’re a parent, there are three ways that you can make the best investment of the gospel in your kids. These aren’t the only three ways, mind you, but they are three critical ways.
First, invest in discipling your kids to know and trust the Bible. The Bible is foundational for what we believe and how we are to live. I don’t think this is a mystery to most parents; however, I’m not sure we tend to do the best job if instilling this deeply into our kids. We might tell them that this is so, but do we show them that it’s so?
Here’s what I mean by that. Have we explained to our kids how the Bible came into being—it’s writing and canonization when the Old Testament and New Testament were officially recognized. Have we talked with them about how the Bible was transmitted through manuscripts and translated into other languages including English? How about why we have different translations and what we are to do with differences between them and the “problem” passages? How about the one big storyline of the Bible? Key doctrines we draw from it?
These are all important discussions to have with our kids at varying depths depending on their age. But make no mistake: these aren’t conversations the church should lead in having with our kids. God gave us as parents that responsibility and privilege, with the church’s help.
Second, invest in discipling your kids to know and trust in Jesus. This is, of course, what we tend to think of when it comes to discipling, and we cannot neglect it. Discipling our kids to know and trust the Bible leads toward this. After all, Jesus is the focus of the Bible. Can we disciple our kids to know and trust Jesus without discipling about the Bible? Indeed. I think many parents do this in practice. However, I have to wonder if this is why we don’t see the desired fruit of our holistic discipleship at times. We have failed to lay a solid foundation undergirding it.
However, I have to wonder if this is why we don’t see the desired fruit of our holistic discipleship at times. We have failed to lay a solid foundation undergirding it.
Third, invest in discipling your kids to love and follow Jesus. This third area is like the first in that it seems to be neglected quite often. Sure, many parents will teach their kids how they should act, but I’m not sure if it is always tethered to following Jesus, or if it is tied closely enough to that.
Our faith is a performative faith. By that I mean that we are to do something with our faith. It’s not just what we believe for salvation, although that is surely a huge part of it. Rather, we believe so that we are saved and changed, and then we are to live that change. And what is that change? As God’s image-bearers, we are changed to be made new in the image of Christ, the perfect image of God. Put more simply, we’re made new to live like Jesus. Not His divinity, but His perfect humanity.
Our faith is a performative faith. By that I mean that we are to do something with our faith.
When we disciple our kids to identify what Christlike living looks like and to find ways to live that way in the power of the Holy Spirit, we help them develop a vibrant, deep, active faith. It moves our faith from a Sunday faith to an everyday faith. It takes a faith that is intellectual to one that is practical.
Investing as a Ministry Leader
What about if you are a ministry leader. How can we invest in our kids. Well, to a large degree it’s the same as for the parents. Those are all foci that we should build our ministries around. But there is one other critical way we can invest the best in our kids: by investing in their parents.
Here’s an exercise: take some time and tabulate the time, energy, and resources (e.g., budget) that you invest in your kids directly. That would include Sunday school, VBS, camp, and the sort.
Now, do the same for how much you invest in your parents.
What do those numbers look like? If you’re like most ministry leaders, it’s probably heavily tipped toward the kids. Some may not invest in parents at all. I think that has to change.
If God chose parents to be the primary disciplers of their kids and we know that the best opportunity kids have to flourish is when their homes flourish, doesn’t it make sense that we’d do all we can to invest in parents? Every hour we invest in parents can yield exponential fruit. For us, this is like investing in Amazon in 1997!
If God chose parents to be the primary disciplers of their kids and we know that the best opportunity kids have to flourish is when their homes flourish, doesn’t it make sense that we’d do all we can to invest in parents?
So, what does that look like? First, encourage your parents and families. Cast a compelling, Christ-centered, grace-saturated vision of what family discipleship can be. Second, equip your parents and families. Do you think your parents can disciple in the three areas discussed above? If not, train them how. Teach parents about the Bible, about the gospel, and about living like Jesus. Give them the foundation they need to pass that along to their kids.
Now, you might be thinking, “Fine. That’s well and good. But when am I supposed to do this? I’m already overloaded.” Fair. But remember what we’re talking about: good vs. best investments. What do you invest in that’s good that you can stop so you can invest in what’s best? Perhaps your kids would be better off in the long run if you offered them less so you can offer their parents more.
Perhaps your kids would be better off in the long run if you offered them less so you can offer their parents more.
Don’t Delay
If we as parents invest more intentionally and wisely in our kids while we as ministry leaders do the same, I believe we will see family discipleship flourish like never before. And when that happens, I believe we’ll see the church flourish like never before. And when that happens, I believe we’ll see our communities flourish like never before.
Sounds good doesn’t it? Then don’t delay. Start today. What steps can you take—big or small—to invest in kids?
TLDR: A kids Bible focused on the armor of God from Ephesians is now available.
credit: pixabay.com
Sometimes we can make the mistake of trying to “out cool” God. We can rely on gimmicks or what’s presently cool to engage kids (and students and adults too), thinking that without these things, kids simply won’t care about God. That’s untrue, of course. The gospel is beautiful enough, it’s amazing enough, it’s cool enough to stand alone. But that doesn’t mean we should avoid those times when something in Scripture will be cool and resonate with our kids. The spiritual armor in Ephesians 6 is on that list.
Come on. Look at this soldier on the left. Now, that’s pretty cool. And this is exactly what the Holy Spirit prompted Paul to write about and wanted us to think and feel. So let’s not shy away from it.
Here’s where we need to be careful though. We cannot use the idea and images of military armor without driving more strongly to the spiritual truths undergirding that imagery. That helmet is pretty impressive, but nowhere near as impressive as our salvation in Christ that it represents. The same is true of the breastplate—righteousness in Christ and for Christ is so much more awe-inspiring.
One of the exciting projects I have recently worked on is a kids Bible that is based on our spiritual armor. This Bible traces the themes the armor represents—truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, faith, salvation, and the Word of God—all throughout Scripture. In five hundred brief “Armor Notes,” kids can see how these themes are at the heart of Scripture. Fifty-two devotionals focused on the themes also are provided for kids to do on their own or with their families. Book introductions, reading plans, and helpful articles are also included.
Years ago, when I first really learned about catechisms, I went out looking for one to use with my kids, but I couldn’t find the right one. While I certainly appreciate the appeal of the historic catechisms and their wording, I wanted something a little more “down to earth.” Think the living room, not the formal dining room. So I wrote one.
Fast forward to now when my kids are 19, 17, and 13. After seeing first hand the value of catechising in the home, I am thrilled that InterVarsity Press has trusted me to produce a new family discipleship resource based on a 99-question Family Catechism. Faith Foundations will release in October 2025, but it is already available for pre-order. I hope and pray this book helps your family as much as using a catechism helped mine!
Faith Foundations enables parents and children to dig into the essential truths of Christianity to deepen their understanding of theology and strengthen their love for Jesus. Through ninety-nine devotions for families to engage in together, this family resource introduces and explores the core areas of Christian doctrine: God the Father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, people and sin, salvation, the Bible, Christian living, the church, and Last Things.
Theology isn’t just for scholars—it’s for everyone, and Faith Foundations makes it accessible to your family through a simple approach. With clear connections to Jesus and practical steps for living like him, this resource helps you and your children deepen your understanding of key doctrines and apply them to daily life. Each devotion includes a short catechism, a key Scripture passage, devotional text, engaging family discussion questions, a prayer response, and a hands-on family activity.
Through Faith Foundations, you and your family will gain:
A meaningful structure for family devotions.
Practical steps for parents and kids to live like Jesus in daily lives.
Fresh opportunities to learn about God and each other.
A deeper appreciation and love for doctrine.
A desire to learn even more about God and his ways.
Discipleship isn’t meant to be done alone—and it definitely isn’t just for grown-ups! Grow deep roots of faith as a family by exploring theology and living a life of faith together with Faith Foundations.
TLDR: Neither in ministry nor in life are we expected to be omnicompetent. We simply lack the training, experience, and skills for that. Rather, it is better that we embrace our limits and thrive in the often narrower lane God has placed us in.
I recently saw a kidmin leader reach out to a group of other kidmin leaders for advice; a parent had recently approached her for help concerning her child who was just diagnosed with ADHD. This kidmin leader has heard negative things about putting kids on meds and was looking for any input on what other options she could share with this parent.
A Quick Detour
I also recently saw a social media post where a Tesla driver was asking the car maker about adjusting the car’s programming to center the car in the lane more. Apparently, he and other drivers have experienced their self-driving cars hugging one of the lane lines instead of staying in the middle of the lane. First-world problems, right? But I found it fascinating because I tend to find everything involving self-driving cars fascinating. (One of these days, I’m going to get one of those things and really decrease my rush hour stress.) The programming and technology involved in these cars is amazing. But they still have bugs to work out. Driving in a lane isn’t good enough; it’s best to drive more in the center of the lane. Which takes us back to where we began.
We Are Not Omnicompentent
I’m sure this kidmin leader looking for guidance means well, but it’s surely concerning. Medicine and ADHD treatments are well out of the scope of most kidmin leaders, indeed, most of us in general, unless you are a physician, a therapist, or some other related specialist. And here’s the double-edged sword we must be aware of: It’s a good thing when families come to kidmin leaders for help, but we cannot make the mistake of positioning ourselves or allowing families to see us as omnicompetent.
We aren’t. We were never meant to be.
Our specialty—our focus—must remain on the gospel. When families need help with the gospel, we should be there. That’s our calling and that’s our gift to our families and the church. But when we are asked for help beyond that, we should be quick to clarify our limitations and instead help them find what they need from elsewhere. In this case, being sure that this mother is working with her doctor is a top priority. And then beyond that, depending on the situation, a licensed therapist could be called on as well. Can and should we pray with this mother? By all means! Can and should we provide counseling about her child being an image bearer beloved by God and created by Him? By all means! So, we don’t abdicate everything in a situation like this. Rather, we hold onto what is in our “lane” and we refer the rest.
Our Limits Are a Gift
We need to be honest: This can be hard. It feels good when others see us as an expert, or a wise sage in all areas of life. But we need to resist giving in to that for three reasons.
First, it’s what’s best for the other person. If we want the best for those we serve—and we surely do—then we should have no qualm about pointing them to get the best help and support they can get, and that support will often not be us. Let’s love our people enough to point them to others when needed.
Second, it’s best for us. It’s weighty enough to partner with parents to disciple children and help those parents disciple their children. Why would we ever want to add further weight to that? Lighten your load and cast off areas you were never meant to carry!
Third, it’s good for the gospel. God’s design of the church is for us to need one another. We are all to recognize our limits. None of us are enough; only Jesus is. When we are quick to acknowledge our limits and turn to others, we picture the gospel.
TLDR:A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 42–45; 50: based on the ACT Bible Study Method.
Act 3: God Promises Jesus
Scene 24: Joseph and His Brothers Reunite
Genesis 42:1—45:28; 50:15–21
Analyze the Passage
Step 1: Introduce the Passage
Genesis was written by Moses sometime between 1445–1405 BC to help the Israelites leaving Egypt understand their history with God. It’s one of the five books of the Law that Moses wrote, which we also call the Torah, or the Pentateuch, which means “five books.”
Today’s true story is the finish to Joseph’s story. It’s a long story with a few twists and turns, and we won’t look at it all, but in the end it leads to a wonderful conclusion for someone who endured so much hardship, but who was able to see that God used it all for his good and God’s glory. This story is in Act 3: God Promises Jesus.
When Jacob learned Egypt had grain during the famine, he sent his ten sons, without Benjamin, who he was afraid to lose.
When Joseph saw his brothers he recognized them but pretended not to know them and spoke harshly to them. He accused them of being spies. The brothers said they were ten of twelve brothers from Canaan and they left the youngest home.
Joseph responded that they were spies and they had to stay until one brother left and brought the youngest brother with him. He imprisoned them for three days. Then, he told them that one brother had to remain and the rest would go bring the youngest brother back.
The brothers believed they were being punished for what they had done to Joseph, but they didn’t know it was Joseph who imprisoned them. Simeon was left behind.
Joseph had their sacks full of grain and their money placed back with it. He also had them given supplies for their trip. When on the way home the brothers learned they had been given back their money, they were afraid.
They returned and told Jacob all that had happened. But Jacob was distressed, believing Joseph was gone, now Simeon was gone, and if they took Benjamin, he’d be gone too. So, he refused.
When their grain ran out, Jacob told Reuben to go buy food. But he reminded him that they couldn’t return without Benjamin. Jacob told them to take gifts to give and double the money so they could give back what they had tried to give the first time.
When they got to Egypt, Joseph had a meal prepared for the brothers. When they came into Joseph’s house, they were afraid and tried to give the money from the first time to Joseph’s main servant. But the servant said everything was fine and brought them Simeon.
When Joseph arrived, they gave the gifts and he asked how their father was. When Joseph saw Benjamin, he hurried out and and went to his room and wept.
Then, he washed his face and returned. The brothers were seated in birth order, which amazed them. Benjamin was given a portion five times larger than the others. And they all drank together.
When it came time for them to leave, Joseph had food and the money placed in their sacks again. But he also instructed for his cup to be put in Benjamin’s. After they left, Joseph had his servants chase after them and ask them why they had done wrong to him by taking his cup.
The brothers denied taking the cup and said if anyone had it, he should die and the rest become Joseph’s slaves. The servant responded that if one has the cup, he would become a slave and the rest would go free.
The sacks were searched from the oldest to the youngest, and the cup was indeed found in Benjamin’s. The brothers then tore their clothes in grief, and they all returned to Joseph’s city.
Joseph asked them why they had done this, and Judah told him that they all were now his slaves. Joseph said that only the one who tool the cup would be. But Judah explained that their elderly father loves Benjamin and that his brother was dead. Judah then told Joseph about them coming and that if they returned without Benjamin, their father would die. Instead, Judah asked that Joseph keep him and let Benjamin return to spare their father such pain.
At this, Joseph could not control himself any longer. He commanded his servants to leave and then he wept loudly and told his brothers who he was. His brothers couldn’t believe it at first. But Joseph told them not to be upset or angry with what they had done so long ago. For God used that to save their lives. Joseph knew it was ultimately God who sent him to Egypt.
Joseph then told the brothers to go to their father and tell them what happened. And then to bring him back and they would live in Egypt. There. Joseph would provide for them for the five remaining years of famine.
Joseph wept with his brothers and he kissed them. And they talked together.
When Pharaoh learned what happened, he told Joseph to have his family move to Egypt and he’d give them the best of the land. So, the brothers left, after Joseph told them not to be afraid.
When the brothers told Jacob that Joseph was alive, he was stunned. Then he said he would go see Joseph before he died.
The family returned to Egypt and reunited with Joseph. Then, in time, Jacob did die. But when that happened, the brothers became afraid, worried that Joseph had bore a grudge against them and would repay them now. So they sent word to Joseph that before Jacob died, he had given instructions for Joseph to forgive his brothers for their sin. Then, they went and fell at Joseph’s feet.
Joseph told them not to be afraid. What they meant as harm, God used for good. Then Joseph comforted them.
Step 4: Interrogate the Passage
Questions you and your family ask might include:
Why did Joseph pretend to be a stranger?
Why didn’t the brothers recognize Joseph?
Why did Joseph speak harshly to them and accuse them of being spies?
Why did Joseph test them by having them bring Benjamin?
Why did Joseph change from one brother going while the rest remained prisoners to one brother staying?
Why was Simeon chosen to stay?
Why did Joseph give their money back?
Did Joseph’s household servant believe in God, the way he explained that God had given them their money back?
Why did Joseph seat the brothers by age?
Why did Benjamin get a larger portion of the meal?
Why did Joseph have his cup put in Benjamin’s sack?
Why was Joseph unable to control himself any longer after Judah asked to stay in Benjamin’s place?
Why did Joseph tell the brothers not to be overcome by fear as they left?
Did Jacob really give the final instructions to Joseph or did the brothers make that up?
Step 5: Wonder about the Passage
Wonder statements you and your family make might include:
I wonder if the ten brothers felt bitterness toward Benjamin for being the favorite, like they had toward Joseph.
I wonder if Joseph had a plan from the beginning of all that he would do with his brothers.
I wonder why the brothers connected what was happening to them to what they did to Joseph.
I wonder how Simeon felt being left as a prisoner all that time.
I wonder how Joseph had Simeon treated during that time.
I wonder what the reunion with Simeon was like.
I wonder why Joseph cried when he saw Benjamin, but he didn’t earlier when he had seen his other brothers.
I wonder how the brothers felt when they learned it was Joseph.
I wonder what Joseph and his brothers talked about.
Connect the Passage to Christ
Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text
In the middle of a story filled with reminders of how the world is broken by sin, today’s story gives us a glimpse of how God wants us to live. It seems that Joseph wanted to test his brothers, to see if they had changed over the years, and they showed that they had. Before, they wanted to kill a favored son; now they were willing to sacrifice themselves for one.
But even before they could prove themselves to Joseph, we see signs of the amazing level of love and forgiveness he showed to them. He could have had them thrown in prison immediately. He could have had them killed. But he didn’t. He gave them back their money—a sign of his love for them—and treated them well. Then, when he finally revealed himself to them, he was clear that he forgave them and understood that God used what they had done for good. He did not back away from calling what they had done wrong and evil, but he accepted it as a path to God preserving their lives.
In this way, we see an example of the love and forgiveness we should extend to others. People will wrong us in big ways and small ways. God wants us to reject anger and bitterness and revenge and hold onto love and forgiveness. There is a time and place for justice, for sure, but our primary concern should be to love others who wrong us to show them Jesus’ love and to forgiven them, whether they deserve it or not.
Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text
Joseph’s love and forgiveness is impressive, but it is nothing compared to the love and forgiveness of Jesus. In fact, the story of Joseph points us to Jesus. Each was a beloved son betrayed by his family. Each endured great hardships even though they were innocent. And each brought life from their hardships—Joseph physical life in a famine and Jesus spiritual life because of sin. Jesus is the greater Joseph, bringing life and restoring a shattered family through his sacrifice, his love, and the forgiveness he provides.
Translate It to Your Context
Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World
Who do you need to forgive? Who has wronged you in a big way or a small way that you can truly forgive? How can you let that person know they are forgiven? Who might you ask to forgive you for something you’ve done wrong?
Who can you show the love of Jesus to this week? What are some ways you can love your family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers with the amazing and powerful love of Jesus?
This will wrap up this walk through Genesis using the ACT Bible Study Method, at least for now. I hope it has given you an idea of how to use this method in the home and encouraged you to give it a try!
Learn more about this family discipleship method here.
TLDR:A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 41 based on the ACT Bible Study Method.
Act 3: God Promises Jesus
Scene 23: Joseph in the Palace
Genesis 41:1–57
Analyze the Passage
Step 1: Introduce the Passage
Genesis was written by Moses sometime between 1445–1405 BC to help the Israelites leaving Egypt understand their history with God. It’s one of the five books of the Law that Moses wrote, which we also call the Torah, or the Pentateuch, which means “five books.”
Today’s true story is a turning point in Joseph’s story. After so much wrong that was done to him, he goes from the prison to the palace to become Pharaoh’s second in command. It’s an amazing rise from as low as one can go to so far high up in one of the most powerful countries in the world at the time. And it was all God’s doing. This story is in Act 3: God Promises Jesus.
Two years after the cupbearer’s dream, Pharaoh had one. He was standing by the Nile and saw seven good cows. Then he saw seven skinny, bad cows. The bad cows ate the good ones.
Pharaoh then had a second dream. There were seven healthy heads of grain and seven unhealthy ones. The unhealthy ones swallowed the healthy ones.
In the morning, Pharaoh called all his diviners and wise men but no one could tell him what his dreams meant. Then the cupbearer remembered Joseph. He told Pharaoh what had happened with Joseph and Pharaoh called for Joseph.
Joseph was released from prison and cleaned up. Pharaoh said he heard Joseph could interpret dreams, but Joseph said it was not him, but God who could. So, Pharaoh told Joseph about his dreams.
Then Joseph explained that God is showing Pharaoh what he is about to do. Both dreams mean the same. Seven good years were coming that would be followed by seven years of famine, a famine that would devastate the land.
Joseph then continued by making a suggestion that Pharaoh should appoint a wise man to appoint officials to collect 1/5 of the produce for the seven good years and store this grain. This would then provide food for the seven years of famine.
This made sense to Pharaoh, so he appointed Joseph as that leader. Joseph would be second only to Pharaoh.
Pharaoh put his ring on Joseph’s finger and clothed him with fine clothing. Then the people kneeled before Joseph. Joseph was given a wife too.
All this happened when Joseph was 30 years old. And Joseph did as he had suggested, saving up grain for seven years.
Joseph had two sons before the famine. Both of their names revealed that Joseph had forgotten all his troubles and recognized God had blessed him.
Then, the famine came and Joseph used the store grain to feed the people. And people from outside of Egypt came there to buy grain too.
Step 4: Interrogate the Passage
Questions you and your family ask might include:
Was Joseph asked for advice after interpreting the dreams or did he offer that on his own?
Was it uncommon for a non-Egyptian to be placed into such a high position?
Step 5: Wonder about the Passage
Wonder statements you and your family make might include:
I wonder how badly the cupbearer felt at having forgotten Joseph.
I wonder if Joseph was nervous or afraid before Pharaoh.
I wonder if Joseph’s advice was given hoping Pharaoh would make him that leader.
I wonder what it was like for Joseph to go from the prison to second in command in one day.
Connect the Passage to Christ
Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text
Once again, the larger story around Joseph reminds us of how the world is broken. Imprisonment and famine were not part of God’s design. But once again, we see God in the middle of the story, providing hope for those who seek to honor him. That’s one thing we cannot miss about this story: how often Joseph refers to God. He was quick to explain God interprets dreams, giving him the credit instead of taking it for himself. And he was just as quick to explain the abundance and famine is what God was going to do and how God had given Pharaoh his dreams. Pharaoh didn’t miss this. Joseph also recognized what God had done when he named his two sons. Joseph knew that God had brought good from all his troubles.
In this, we see that Joseph is relying on God, which is probably why Joseph was able to do something impressive in this story—something that isn’t said in the text, but its absence cannot be missed. When Joseph became second in charge of the land, he could have sought to punish the cupbearer for forgetting him. But he didn’t. It seems that Joseph forgave the cupbearer, even if his forgetfulness had caused Joseph to stay in prison for two more years. But, based on Joseph’s statements when he named his sons, it seems Joseph understood that he was released in God’s timing. Who knows if Pharaoh would have cared two years earlier? God was moving and he was moving in his perfect time.
Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text
Joseph gives us a hint of how God wants us to live with forgiveness. Joseph was wronged time and time again, but he also showed the ability to forgive time and time again. He didn’t go after the cupbearer, or even Potiphar and his wife, as he might have been allowed to do by Pharaoh. Instead, it seems he forgave. And we’ll see him do the same next time when Joseph is restored with his brothers. In this, Joseph points to Jesus, the one who provided forgiveness of our sins and who suffered and died for us, wrongly crucified on our behalf.
Translate It to Your Context
Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World
Who do you need to forgive? Who has wronged you in a big way or a small way that you can truly forgive? How can you let that person know they are forgiven? Who might you ask to forgive you for something you’ve done wrong?
NEXT: Act 3: God Promises Jesus; Scene 24: Joseph and His Brothers Reunite (Genesis 42:1—45:28; 50:15–21)
Learn more about this family discipleship method here.
TLDR:A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 39–40 based on the ACT Bible Study Method.
Act 3: God Promises Jesus
Scene 22: Joseph in Prison
Genesis 39:21—40:23
Analyze the Passage
Step 1: Introduce the Passage
Genesis was written by Moses sometime between 1445–1405 BC to help the Israelites leaving Egypt understand their history with God. It’s one of the five books of the Law that Moses wrote, which we also call the Torah, or the Pentateuch, which means “five books.”
Today’s true story is one more that shows how difficult of a time Joseph had early in his life. He began as a favored son, then it was downhill from there as his brothers nearly killed him, but then sold him into slavery. Then, after doing nothing wrong, he was thrown into prison. And that’s where we pick up Joseph’s story today. This story is in Act 3: God Promises Jesus.
Even when Joseph was in prison, God was with him and continued to bless him. In time, Joseph became head over all the other prisoners.
Then, the Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker made him unhappy, so he had them thrown into prison where Joseph was. Joseph was appointed to be their attendant.
One night, both the cupbearer and the baker had a dream. When Joseph saw them the next morning, he noticed they looked depressed and they told him it was because no one could tell them what their dreams meant. Joseph told them that God can provide an interpretation and asked them to tell him their dreams.
The cupbearer told him that in his dream, a vine grew with three branches and it budded into having grapes. Pharaoh’s cup was in the cupbearer’s hand so he squeezed the grapes and gave it to Pharaoh.
Joseph told him the dream meant that in three days, he would be restored as Pharaoh’s cupbearer. Then, Joseph asked that when that happened, that the cupbearer would speak favorably of Joseph to Pharaoh so that he might be freed.
Then the baker told his dream. In his, he saw three baskets of bread on his head. But the birds came and ate from the baskets.
Joseph told him that the dream meant that in three days, Pharaoh would have the baker beheaded.
Three days later, it was Pharaoh’s birthday and he gave a feast. He restored the cupbearer and executed the baker just as Joseph had said. But the cupbearer forget Joseph.
Step 4: Interrogate the Passage
Questions you and your family ask might include:
What made Joseph successful in prison?
Did Joseph know God could use him to interpret dreams before this?
Why didn’t the cupbearer remember Joseph?
Step 5: Wonder about the Passage
Wonder statements you and your family make might include:
I wonder if Joseph was tempted to become bitter at this point.
I wonder what the cupbearer and baker did to make Pharaoh angry.
I wonder how hopeful Joseph became when he knew the cupbearer would go before Pharaoh in just three days.
I wonder if it was difficult to tell the baker about his dream.
I wonder how long it took for Joseph to give up hope after the cupbearer was released.
Connect the Passage to Christ
Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text
This account is similar to ch. 39, where we see God bless and use Joseph, even in a difficult situation. But we also see Joseph directly trusting in God, when he asked to hear the dreams to interpret them. Before this, we read that God blessed Joseph and we saw Joseph did not want to sin against God, but here is where we see a hint of Joseph’s relationship with God. And it was likely this relationship that enabled Joseph to live as God wanted him to live—with ongoing humility and obedience.
God did not design this world to include brothers betraying a brother, slavery, lying, and imprisonment. But even as the world around Joseph was pretty much all it shouldn’t be, Joseph continued to live as it should be. And once again, we are given a snapshot of how we too can live in a broken world.
Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text
Joseph’s humility and obedience point toward Jesus’ greater humility and obedience. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and wrongly imprisoned, but held onto humility and obedience. Jesus was betrayed by his brothers and wrongly crucified, but he too held onto perfect humility and obedience.
Translate It to Your Context
Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World
How can you be especially humble this week? Remember, humility is not thinking poorly of yourself; it is thinking more highly of God and others. It is putting God first, others second, and yourself third. What are ways that you can display humility with your friends, family, and others to show them Jesus?
How can you obey God this week, in big ways and small ways, so that people might see Jesus in you? Think about all the places you will be this week and what you will do. How can you obey God and people he has placed in authority with joy?
NEXT: Act 3: God Promises Jesus; Scene 23: Joseph in the Palace (Genesis 41:1–57)
Learn more about this family discipleship method here.
brian dembowczyk 