brian dembowczyk

Cain’s Sinful Family

TLDR: A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 4 based on the ACT Bible Study Method.

Act 2: People Disobey

Scene 2: Cain’s Sinful Family

Genesis 4:1–26

Analyze the Passage

Step 1: Introduce the Passage

Genesis was written by Moses sometime between 1445–1405 BC to help the Israelites leaving Egypt understand their history with God. It’s one of the five books of the Law that Moses wrote, which we also call the Torah, or the Pentateuch, which means “five books.”

Today’s true story is another unhappy one. It’s the story of a brother doing the worst thing imaginable to his brother. This story is in Act 2: People Disobey.

Step 2: Read the Passage

Genesis 4:1–26

Step 3: Summarize the Passage

Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel (vv. 1–2). God accepted Abel’s offering but not Cain’s and this made Cain very angry (vv. 3–5). Despite God warning Cain, he took his brother out into the field and murdered him (vv. 6–8). God punished Cain for his sin and made him wander the earth, but he also was kind to provide Cain with protection (vv. 9–16).

Cain’s family followed in his sinful footsteps, with one of his offspring bragging even bragging for killing someone who wounding him. (vv. 17–24). With Abel dead and Cain banished, God gave Adam and Eve another son, Seth (vv. 25–26).

Step 4: Interrogate the Passage

Questions you and your family ask might include:

Why did Cain and Abel give God offerings?
Why did God accept Abel’s offering but not Abel’s?
Why did God rejecting Cain’s offering make Cain mad?
Why did Cain kill Abel?
Why did God punish Cain the way he did?
Why did God protect Cain?
Where did the people Cain was afraid of come from?
Was it OK for Lamech to take two wives?
What does it mean that people began to worship the Lord when Enosh was born to Seth?

Step 5: Wonder about the Passage

Wonder statements you and your family make might include:

I wonder how old Cain and Abel were in this story.
I wonder what made Abel’s offering good and not Cain’s.
I wonder how God warned Cain.
I wonder what it was like for Adam and Eve to lose Abel and Cain in different ways.
I wonder what the “mark” on Cain was.

Connect the Passage to Christ

Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text

This story echoes the last one—Adam and Eve sinning in the garden—but it is worse. Humanity went from being perfect to one where a brother kills his own brother. This shows how quickly people’s hearts became hard because of sin. Sin just isn’t a small problem we have to deal with; it is a plague that haunts us. This is not the world God intended. God intends for us to live at peace and with love for one another. He intends that we put others before ourselves as we obey him in every area of our lives.

Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text

The story of Cain and Abel, and then Lamech’s later bragging about murdering someone, points to our great need of a Savior—Jesus. We’re more like Cain that we want to admit. While we may not have murdered anyone, let alone our own brothers, we are quick to be full of pride and anger. We are slow to listen to God and obey him, even if he knows us best, loves us, and wants only good for us. We’re broken and we need someone else to fix us. That someone is, of course, Jesus.

While this story shows us that sin runs deep and God will not ignore it, we also see something wonderful too. God gave Cain mercy and grace, even if he didn’t deserve it. Judgment will always come, but so will God’s mercy and grace. We see this also in the God’s provision of Seth. God had promised the rescuer would come from Adam and Eve’s family. It couldn’t have been through Abel, since he died. And Cain was excluded because of his terrible sin. But God provided another way when he gave Seth as a son.

This story shows us the same two characteristics of Jesus (by counterexample), that we can see in Genesis 3: humility and obedience.

Cain’s main mistake was that he lacked humility. He lacked humility to celebrate Abel’s blessing from God. He lacked humility to listen to God’s warning and act on in. And he lacked humility to put Abel’s life first. This is all the exact opposite of who Jesus is and how we are to live.

At the same time, Cain, like his parents, failed to obey God. He failed to honor life and bring about flourishing. And we see this same pattern of disobedience in his family after. God’s design for marriage is one man and one woman, but Lamech took two wives and like Cain, he murdered someone else too. Again, this is the opposite of how Jesus lived—in full obedience to the Father—and how we are to live as well.

Translate It to Your Context

Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World

How can you be especially humble this week? Remember, humility is not thinking poorly of yourself; it is thinking more highly of God and others. It is putting God first, others second, and yourself third. What are ways that you can display humility with your friends, family, and others to show them Jesus?

How can you obey God this week, in big ways and small ways, so that people might see Jesus in you? Think about all the places you will be this week and what you will do. How can you obey God and people he has placed in authority with joy?

NEXT: Act 2: People Disobey; Scene 3: Seth’s Family (Genesis 5:1–32)

Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

Adam and Eve Disobey

TLDR: A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 3 based on the ACT Bible Study Method.

Act 2: People Disobey

Scene 1: Adam and Eve Disobey

Genesis 3:1–24

Analyze the Passage

Step 1: Introduce the Passage

Today’s true story is the first one in the Bible that a happy one. It’s the story of how people messed up God’s perfect creation and the reason for everything else that follows in the Bible. This story is the first one of Act 2: People Disobey.

Step 2: Read the Passage

Genesis 3:1–24

Step 3: Summarize the Passage

The serpent told Eve half truths and lies to confuse her about who God is and who she is (vv. 1–5).

Because Eve was confused, doubted God’s goodness, and believed she deserved more, she disobeyed God and ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and so did Adam who was with her. When they recognized they were unclothed, they made coverings for themselves (vv. 6–7).

When God came into the garden, Adam and Eve hid themselves and God drew out of them what had happened (vv. 9–13).

God then disciplined each person involved in this act of disobedience. The serpent first (vv. 14–15), then Eve (v. 16), and finally Adam (vv. 17–19).

Then, Adam named Eve, God made Adam and Eve clothes from animal skins, and God removed Adam and Eve from the garden (vv. 20–24).

Step 4: Interrogate the Passage

Questions you and your family ask might include:

Was the serpent Satan or controlled by him?
Could animals normally talk?
Did God say Adam and Eve couldn’t touch the tree?
Why didn’t Adam do anything to help and protect Eve?
Why did Adam and Eve hide from God?
What does it mean to be cursed?
Did the serpent have legs before?
What does it mean that an offspring would strike the serpent’s head and it would strike his heel?
Why did God make Adam and Eve clothes from an animal?
Why did God ban Adam and Eve from the garden?

Step 5: Wonder about the Passage

Wonder statements you and your family make might include:

I wonder what it was like to hear a serpent talk.
I wonder how long it took for Adam and Eve to recognize they made a huge mistake.
I wonder if God had always come to spend time with Adam and Eve in the garden.
I wonder what it was like for Adam and Eve to leave the garden.
I wonder what the angels guarding the tree looked like.

Connect the Passage to Christ

Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text

This story shows us the opposite of how things are supposed to go. In it, we see the world broken and not working as it should.

First, we see the serpent confusing Eve and causing her to think more highly of herself than she should have. Instead of trusting God, she came to believe she knew better than God and that she deserved more from him. We can guess that Adam, who was with Eve, felt the same. This is pride, and it’s the opposite of how God intends for people to live. We are to live with humility instead.

Second, we see Adam and Eve go from obedience in Genesis 2 to disobedience here. We don’t know how much time passed, but the brief telling of Genesis 2 and that Adam and Eve had no children likely means it wasn’t too much time. God had given Adam and Eve one clear instruction about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And he was clear in his warning. But it didn’t take much for Adam and Eve—even if they were perfet—to disobey. This shows us how hard it is to obey God in our lives. But this is the world God made and what he expects of us.

Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text

In this story, we see two amazing pictures of what Jesus did for us on the cross.

First, he is the “offspring” God promised would come and crush the head of the serpent (v. 15). This is talking about the cross, when Satan thought he beat Jesus, but he only wounded him (“strike his heel”). In reality, the cross is when Satan, sin, and death were defeated.

Second, while Adam and Eve tried to cover their sin and shame themselves, using leaves, God covered them in a different way. He used animal skin, meaning an animal had to die—the first recorded death in the Bible. God took an animal’s life to provide a way to cover Adam and Eve’s sin and shame in a better way. This is what God did by providing Jesus to lay down his life on the cross, so that if we believe in him, our sin is covered and forgiven and are shame is removed forevermore.

We also see two marks of living like Jesus in this story.

The first is the humility of Jesus. He demonstrated amazing humility in leaving his rightful place in heaven to come to earth, so that he could live the perfect life we have not lived, lay down his life to be our sacrifice for sin, and rise again from the dead, showing sin and death are defeated. Jesus put his Father’s will first while on earth, and loved us and cared for us more than his own life.

The second is the obedience of Jesus. He obeyed God fully—in big ways and small ways. He shows us what it looks like to obey even when it’s hard. Satan tried to trick Jesus and get him to disobey, but Jesus didn’t fall for it. He shows us that obedience is possible—in his power and with his help.

Translate It to Your Context

Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World

NEXT: Act 2: People Disobey; Scene 2: Cain’s Sinful Family (Genesis 4:1–26)

Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

Adam and Eve Obey

TLDR: A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 2 based on the ACT Bible Study Method.

Act 1: God Creates

Scene 2: Adam and Eve Obey

Genesis 2:1–25

Analyze the Passage

Step 1: Introduce the Passage

Today’s true story that finishes and then retells the last one. In Genesis 1, we had a bird’s-eye view of creation; in Genesis 2, we will zoom to see more details of God creating people, his most special creation. It is in Act 1 of the Bible’s big story, God Creates.

Step 2: Read the Passage

Genesis 2:1–25

Step 3: Summarize the Passage

After God made everything, he rested on the seventh day (vv. 1–3).

In retelling how God made people, we see that God breathed life into the first man, Adam (vv. 4–7)

God made a garden, or orchard, in Eden with trees with perfect food on them. In this garden, he placed two special trees: the tree of life and the three of the knowledge of good and evil. The garden was watered by several rivers (vv. 8–14).

God gave Adam one thing he could not do: eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He warned Adam that if he did, he would die (vv. 15–17).

After saying everything in creation was “good,” God said one thing was not good: Adam being alone without another human. So God placed all the animals before Adam so he could name them, but Adam did not find a companion—a friend like him. So God caused him to sleep and made the first woman, Eve, from him. When Adam woke up and saw the woman, he was grateful and they became husband and wife (vv. 18–25).

Step 4: Interrogate the Passage

Questions you and your family ask might include:

Why did God rest on the seventh day?
What does it mean that God blessed the seventh day and made it holy?
Why did God breathe life into Adam?
Why did God put the two special trees in the garden?
Why would Adam die if he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil?
Why did God think it was not good for Adam to be alone?
Why did God have Adam name all the animals?
Why did God make Eve from part of Adam?
What did Adam mean by what he said when he saw Eve?

Step 5: Wonder about the Passage

Wonder statements you and your family make might include:

I wonder what the garden of Eden looked like.
I wonder what types of vegetables and fruits were in the garden.
I wonder what Adam did at first?
I wonder why Adam named the animals like he did.
I wonder if Adam’s side hurt when he woke up.
I wonder what Adam thought when he saw Eve.

Connect the Passage to Christ

Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text

While we don’t know how much time passes in Genesis 2 before Genesis 3 happens, it is a time marked by perfect obedience to God. At least for this time, everything God made was working like it was supposed to. Adam and then Adam and Eve did what God told them to do and experienced a perfect life in a perfect world with a perfect God.

Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text

Obedience is a mark of living like Jesus. He was obedient to the Father in everything he did. It wasn’t always easy, but Jesus did it anyway. The greatest reward of Jesus’ obedience is that it led to our salvation from sin.

Translate It to Your Context

Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World

NEXT: Act 2: People Disobey; Scene 1: Adam and Eve Disobey (Genesis 3:1–24)

Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

God Creates Everything

TLDR: A guide for having a family discipleship time on Genesis 1 based on the ACT Bible Study Method.

Act 1: God Creates

Scene 1: God Creates Everything

Genesis 1:1–31

Analyze the Passage

Step 1: Introduce the Passage

Today’s true story is the very first one in the Bible; the one story that begins all the rest of the true stories we will read. It is in Act 1 of the Bible’s big story, God Creates.

Step 2: Read the Passage

Genesis 1:1–31

Step 3: Summarize the Passage

In the beginning, there was nothing but God (v. 1).

Then God created:

Day 1: Light and separated light from darkness (vv. 2–5).
Day 2: The sky and separated the waters (vv. 6–8).
Day 3: Land, separated the waters from the land, and created plants and trees (vv. 9–13).
Day 4: The sun, moon, and stars to fill the heavens (vv. 14–19).
Day 5: Fish to fill the waters and birds to fill the sky (vv. 20–23).
Day 6: Animals to fill the land and people in his image (vv. 24–31).

Everything God created was good.

Step 4: Interrogate the Passage

Questions you and your family ask might include:

Why did God create everything in this order?
Why did God create everything?
What did God create everything from?
What were the waters above the sky?
Why does this passage talk about things producing according to their kind?
Were these literal days?
Who is God talking to when he said “let us” in v. 26?
What does it mean to be made in God’s image?
Were people vegetarians to begin with?
What does it mean that God “blessed” people?

Step 5: Wonder about the Passage

Wonder statements you and your family make might include:

I wonder why God made everything.
I wonder what the universe looked like after each day.
I wonder why God made so many different kinds of plants, fish, birds, and animals.
I wonder what food tasted like at first when everything was perfect.

Connect the Passage to Christ

Step 6: Find the World in Front of Text

The ideal world that God created is one of perfection: perfect design, perfect harmony, perfect purpose, perfect everything. This is a world without sin, conflict, pain, or death. It is a world where everything is good.

Step 7: Find the World of Jesus of the Text

God was abundantly kind and generous to create such an amazing world for us to live in and to make us in his image. He didn’t have to do this, but he did because he wants us to love him and enjoy what he has made.

Generosity is a mark of living like Jesus. He was so generous to us that he gave us his very life so we can be saved from sin.

Translate It to Your Context

Step 8: Connect the World of Jesus of the Text to Your World

How can you be amazingly generous with someone this week to show them Jesus? Who might you be generous toward, how might you do it, and when might you do it?

NEXT: Act 1: God Creates; Scene 2: Adam and Eve Obey (Genesis 2:1–25)

Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

The Obedience of Jesus

This is the last of seven core characteristics of Jesus we’ve been called to imitate and thus disciple our kids toward using the ACT Bible Study Method. Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

TLDR: Jesus coming to earth was an act of obedience, an attribute he continued every minute of every day of his earthly life. This obedience was not always easy, but what enabled him to live in obedience no matter what was his desire to bring glory to the Father.

After celebrating the Passover feast with his disciples, Jesus takes them to the Mount of Olives to pray (Luke 22:39). Jesus knows what is in store over the coming hours. He would soon be arrested and paraded through several illegal trials. He would be beaten within an inch of his life, and then be nailed to a cross, left to die a slow, painful death. In these final quiet moments before that encroaching storm, Jesus needs to draw strength from the Father, so he kneels in prayer (Luke 22:41). We might not think much about kneeling in prayer. Some of us might pray this way at times, so we might quickly read over this detail. But kneeling was not the general prayer posture of Jesus’ day. Standing or sitting was. When Jesus kneels, it’s a clue about the intense emotion he feels in the moment (Matt. 26:38).

Take this Cup

We see this intensity of emotion in what Jesus prays about. At the center of his prayer is the request for the Father to “take this cup away” (Luke 22:42). We can’t be sure what Jesus meant by “cup.” Some think it might have been the physical suffering that was coming. Others think it was bearing the weight of sin and suffering the Father’s wrath. Jesus would become sin on the cross (2 Cor. 5:21) and the thought of this was perhaps too much to bear.

It’s important that we work through what Jesus meant by “cup” as we study this passage, but we shouldn’t focus on that so much that we miss what is around it. What Jesus said right before and after the “cup” is just as important as what that “cup” is.

“Father, if you are willing…”

Then the request.

Then, “Yet not my will but yours be done.”

Yet Not My Will but Yours

Do you see why this is so important? This moment in the garden is the most challenging of Jesus’ life—even more than the three temptations by Satan in the wilderness. Taking this cup away might have been the boldest request Jesus could have made. We may not know exactly what Jesus meant by the “cup,” but we do know it had something to do with the cross. Yet, that cross was at the center of the Father’s eternal plan of redemption. And now, mere hours—perhaps even minutes—from this plan going into overdrive, Jesus asks the Father for another way. Do you see the boldness? That boldness, however, makes what surrounds it even more compelling. As excruciating as this moment is, Jesus is fixated on obeying the Father. The Father’s will is more important than his will. Jesus doesn’t want what he wanted if the Father doesn’t want it, too. No matter how difficult the cup would be, Jesus would endure it if it was what the Father willed. Why? Because Jesus loves the Father. Yes, Jesus loves us. Yes, he died for us. But we were not primary on his mind in that moment—we never are. The Father was and the Father is.¹ And praise God that Jesus obeyed the Father out of love! Without it, we would still be bearing the cup that Jesus took. We would still be separated from God. We would still be under his wrath. We would still face an eternity of suffering, apart from God.

A Perpetual Posture of Obedience

As we teach our kids about obeying God, we need to position obedience not as an accessory to our lives, but as the priority. Doing God’s will should be our primary focus, and our obedience should be done unconditionally out of love. This is the obedience that marked Jesus. To imitate him requires that we obey likewise.

But we don’t want to “super-spiritualize” our obedience either. A “God said it; that settles it” mentality might be theologically true, but it’s theologically incomplete. Jesus wrestled with obeying the Father in the garden. His struggle wasn’t one of whether to obey or not, as the bookends of his request prove. He was going to do the Father’s will—that was not in question for him, and it shouldn’t be for us. His struggle was one of wishing there were another way for the Father’s will to come to pass. He shows us that sometimes obedience is painful. Sometimes it’s costly. That is what gave him pause. And his struggle in that moment gives us permission to do likewise. It’s OK for us to wish God had another way. It’s OK for us to fight against our flesh that recoils from obeying God or from doing hard things. There’s nothing wrong with the fight. It’s part of being image-bearers in a fallen world. But each struggle should end the exact same way it did for Jesus: “Not my will but yours be done.”

NEXT: Act 1: God Creates; Scene 1: God Creates Everything (Gen. 1:1–31)

If we are primary on the mind of Jesus, even for a split second, then he would become an idolater. God is primary even for himself. He is the greatest good. He is the one that deserves all glory. ↩︎

The Forgiveness of Jesus

This is the sixth of seven core characteristics of Jesus we’ve been called to imitate and thus disciple our kids toward using the ACT Bible Study Method. Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

TLDR: Jesus’ primary reason for coming to earth was to provide forgiveness. In him, we are totally forgiven, nothing being beyond the scope of God’s mercy and grace. We want to disciple our kids to forgive just as generously.

John 3:16 is perhaps the most well-known and well-loved verse of the Bible, and for good reason. It focuses on God’s love, proven by his provision of Jesus. The verse that follows it may not be nearly as well-known, but it amplifies this glorious idea even further.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world should be saved through him.
John 3:17 (NET)

Jesus didn’t come into a neutral world; he came into a rebellious world overrun by sin, condemned ever since the Fall. Jesus couldn’t condemn what had already been condemned. But he surely could bring what was lacking: salvation.

Love v. Wrath or Love + Wrath?

These verses fuse together two aspects of God that we often struggle to connect even loosely: love and wrath. Often, we want to deny or at least ignore the wrath part. If we do accept it, we would rather place it in some back room’s, dark, dusty closet and leave it alone. We love God’s love. But God’s wrath—well, that’s another thing all together.

However, John 3:16–17 reminds us that both matter and they aren’t disconnected, but rather joined by necessity. God is just—he cannot ignore our sin or simply forget about it. But God is also love—he cannot ignore our despair or forget about his affections for us either. The punishment of sin was death, and death had to be paid. But in the brilliance of God’s plan, that death was paid by Jesus. Christ’s sacrifice preserved both God’s justice (his wrath was satisfied) and God’s love (his redemptive heart was satisfied). John 3:16 reminds us of the intensity and greatness of that love. John 3:17 reminds us of the result of that love: forgiveness that replaces condemnation for all who trust in Christ.

The Primacy of Forgiveness

These two verses remind us that at its core, Jesus’ mission was one of forgiveness. Yes, his healings mattered. Yes, his teachings mattered. But everything that he did and taught, and everything he experienced on the cross, drove toward this singular purpose of providing forgiveness of sin. Jesus didn’t heal people to delay their arrival in hell. He healed people to prove his love for them, a love that was most clearly seen in his provision of forgiveness. In a similar way, forgiveness should be just as important to us. Yes, we primarily want to introduce people to the forgiveness of their sins that only God can give. But we also need to forgive others when they wrong us. Forgiveness is a balm to a wounded soul. While we cannot forgive a person’s sins, we can forgive them when they do us wrong, and in doing so, point them to the one who can forgive their sins.

C. S. Lewis said that “every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”¹ In other words, we love to be on the receiving end of forgiveness but not so much the giving end. But Christ has called on us to do the latter precisely because we have experienced the former. This is what he had in mind in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matt. 18:21–35).

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

This parable is intentionally absurd. In it, a servant owes his master ten thousand talents. Each talent was about six thousand days of wages, so that’s 60,000,000 days of wages. Let’s imagine a person makes a modest $10 an hour. That would be $80 a day. So, this would be almost half a billion dollars of debt. Can you hear the chuckles in the crowd as Jesus shares this? What master would loan his servant such a lavish sum? It’s preposterous.

Jesus continues the story. When the time comes to settle debts, the master understandably demands full payment from this servant, but the servant doesn’t have the money, so he falls down and begs for more time. Upon seeing this, the master has compassion on the servant and forgives the entire debt. He went from being owed a fortune to giving it away basically in the blink of an eye. All because a lowly servant groveled. Again, can you imagine the chuckles turning into heartier laughs at this point? What master would forgive such a debt?

Jesus then continues the parable by having that same servant leave and immediately come across another servant who owes him one-hundred silver coins, or about one-hundred days of wages. So, by our math, that would be about $8,000. No small sum, but nothing compared to half a billion dollars. If I’m doing my math right, that was 0.0017% of what he had just been forgiven. Not one percent. No even a tenth of a percent. Not even one one-hundredth of a percent. That’s like someone owing you $1.70 when you have $100,000 in your bank account.

At this point, the scene repeats itself, this time with the first servant threatening the second and the second pleading for patience. But then the parable takes a shocking twist. The first servant refuses to forgive the second’s modest debt and fails even to give him more time to repay it. Here, laughs in the crowd likely become gasps. The idea is ludicrous. What servant who had been forgiven so much would refuse to forgive so little? It’s unthinkable.

Those Who Are Forgiven Forgive

And this is the exact reaction that Jesus crafted the parable to deliver. Those who have been forgiven an infinite sin debt by God cannot not forgive the meager debts owed by others. The way people wrong us matters. It can be painful. Even harmful. But in light of how we have wronged God, there is no comparison. He has forgiven us. It’s absurd that we’d refuse to forgive others.

Our culture isn’t the best at forgiveness, and when they do step into its realm, it is often conditional and limited. We want to disciple our kids to pursue a different forgiveness, a better forgiveness, a Christlike forgiveness. We pray they are spared from serious pain and heartache in life, but if they do experience it, may we prepare them to respond to it with otherworldly forgiveness.

NEXT: The Obedience of Jesus

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, Revised and Amplified Kindle (San Francisco, CA: HarperOne, 2009), 115. ↩︎

The Hospitality of Jesus

This is the fifth of seven core characteristics of Jesus we’ve been called to imitate and thus disciple our kids toward using the ACT Bible Study Method. Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

TLDR: Jesus loves and values all people and wants to be in relationship with everyone. There is no “in” crowd and “out” crowd for him, and neither should there be for our kids. We want to disciple our kids to pursue genuine friendships with all others.

Hospitality is about acceptance. It’s about welcoming someone, recognizing her worth, and calling that person “friend.” It’s not about ignoring differences, but rather, it’s about not allowing those differences to be barriers. It’s about seeing others as valued image-bearers and treating them accordingly. Nobody has done this better than Jesus. Luke gives us a powerful snapshot of Jesus’ hospitality in Christ’s encounter with Zacchaeus in Jericho (Luke 19:1–10).

Zacchaeus wasn’t just a tax collector; he was a chief tax collector—most likely an upper-level administrator who organized the tax collecting efforts of his subordinates and accumulated his wealth by taking a percentage of their income. Tax collectors were outcasts in Jewish society. They were seen as greedy, self-serving, and religiously and morally compromised. They were encouraged to take as much in taxes as they wanted, as long as they covered what was owed to the government. The rest, they could keep. It’s not surprising, then, that tax collectors were known for their extortion. But that’s just the start of it. Tax collectors also handled Gentile money, making them ceremonially unclean. Then there is the whole issue of Rome. Many of these tax collectors worked to take money from the people of Israel to give to the emperor of Rome. Basically, these tax collectors were helping feed and equip the very army that occupied their land. It’s not hard to see why people despised tax collectors. They were traitors, making their own fortunes off the backs of the common citizens and keeping Rome in business as the neighborhood bully and oppressor. Consequently, tax collectors were disqualified as witnesses in court, excommunicated from the synagogue, and considered disgraces by their families. This was the kind of person Zacchaeus was—a leader of these people nonetheless.

A Powerful Man Humbled

When Zacchaeus hears that Jesus is passing through town, he wants to “get a look at Jesus” (v. 3). The problem was that Zacchaeus was a “short man.”¹ His physical status hinted at his social status. Although wealthy—or perhaps because of how he accumulated that wealth—Zacchaeus was afforded low status by his neighbors. All his wealth, influence, and power can’t even buy or earn him a clear line of sight to see Jesus. The crowds can’t even muster the courtesy to move aside so Zacchaeus can catch a glimpse. Or, perhaps, they found delight in spitefully not moving aside. Regardless, Zacchaeus finds a solution, although an inelegant and undignified one: he climbs a tree.

A Humbled Man Welcomed

While Zacchaeus had hoped to see Jesus, something better happens: Jesus sees him (v. 5). No outsider is beyond Jesus’ sight. But Jesus doesn’t just see Zacchaeus, nor does he just acknowledge him. Rather, Jesus calls out an emphatic request to him—he “must” stay at his house. This went beyond sharing a meal—although that alone would have been an amazing gesture of acceptance of this outcast. In the Near Eastern culture of the day, eating with someone connoted intimacy, identification, and acceptance—almost as if you accepted one another as brothers and sisters. For Jesus to accept Zacchaeus on this level would have been scandalous, but Jesus has even more in mind. He invites himself to stay with Zacchaeus. And in doing so, he invites Zacchaeus to become his friend. The man no one would step aside for and offer the most basic of courtesies to is singled out by Jesus and offered the most beautiful of opportunities—to become friends with his Creator. This is the power of hospitality. Hospitality makes strangers friends and enemies family.

A Welcomed Man Accepted

This wasn’t a rare act for Jesus either. He was known for his hospitality. The Pharisees noticed that Jesus ate with sinners so often that they accused him of being “a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matt. 11:19). We know Jesus was not a glutton or a drunk, but this tells us that he wasn’t a prude or wallflower either. It might feel off to say this, but it shouldn’t: Jesus enjoyed a good party. Jesus loved and valued people. All people. He had no boundaries of who was “in” and who was “out.” All deserved to be out, but Jesus extended hospitality to all and invited them all to be in. I love how Luke ends one of the accounts of Jesus addressing this criticism of being a friend of sinners (Luke 7:18–36):

Now one of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went into the Pharisee’s house and took his place at the table.
Luke 7:36 (NET)

Jesus went into the home of a Pharisee and ate with him, which, as we have noted, connotes acceptance. One of those who were complaining loudest about Jesus’ indiscriminate acceptance was accepted by him. Don’t we have a great Savior?

This is the hospitality we want to disciple our kids to imitate. We want to help them see value in all people, to love all people, to welcome all people, and to accept all people. That doesn’t mean they are to accept what all people do, but it is to see everyone as an image-bearer of God deserving of respect.

NEXT: The Forgiveness of Jesus

If you grew up in the church a few decades ago like I did, I almost guarantee you are singing “Zacchaeus was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he…” right now. And if you weren’t before, you definitely are now. You’re welcome for that earworm. ↩︎

The Generosity of Jesus

This is the fourth of seven core characteristics of Jesus we’ve been called to imitate and thus disciple our kids toward using the ACT Bible Study Method. Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

TLDR: Jesus displayed superabundant generosity in giving completely of himself on the cross. This is the generosity that we are to disciple our kids to have for others.

Being generous always costs us something. It might cost us everything. It did for Jesus. In John 10:14–18, Jesus describes himself as the good shepherd, and in doing so, he mentions four times that he would lay down his life for the sheep (vv. 15, 17, and 18 twice). Jesus is not a shepherd who lords over the lowly sheep, although he has every right to do so. Instead, he is a shepherd who sacrifices himself—who gives of himself to the fullest measure so much so that it becomes giving himself. This was his choice. No one forced him to make it. It’s hard to miss that point in this passage:

“I lay down my life…” (v. 15).

“I lay down my life…” (v. 17).

“No one takes it away from me…” (v. 18).

“I lay it down on my own free will…” (v. 18).

“I have the authority to lay it down…” (v. 18).

Jesus wanted to make it abundantly clear that no one took his life from him; his death was of his own volition. To understand the depth of Jesus’ generosity in choosing to give up his life, then, we must understand the sordid details of the cross.

Jesus’ Generous Gift of Life

Crucifixion was one of the cruelest punishments ever devised. It was so cruel that Roman citizens could not be crucified; only slaves, notorious criminals, and insurrectionists could. After carrying the crossbeam of the cross to the place of crucifixion, the condemned would either be tied or nailed to it, and then that beam would be hoisted into place.¹ A small footrest would be nailed in place, or the criminal’s ankles would be nailed to the upright post. This would relieve some of the criminal’s weight and allow him to push up at times to breathe more easily. Most people who were crucified died of asphyxiation, which could take two or three days. Historical records indicate that at times, birds and animals would come and feed on those hanging on the cross before they had even died. At some point, however, the criminal would lose the strength to push himself up. Unable to do this, air would not fill his compressed lungs and death would soon follow. This is why the Roman soldiers broke the legs of the criminals around Jesus—to speed up their deaths by making them unable to push up sooner rather than later.

This was the death Jesus chose.

Jesus’ Generous Gift of Pain

But before Jesus was nailed to the cross, he was scourged (or flogged) with a flagellum, a leather strap with pieces of bone, lead, metal, or glass attached to it. Scourging would tear at the criminal’s flesh, often exposing his entrails and bones. Many criminals never made it to the cross because they died from this brutal beating.

In addition to the scourging, Jesus’s head was also beaten with a reed, although this may have been done less to inflict pain and more to mock the supposed King of the Jews with the reed intended to be a mock scepter. As the Romans struck Jesus on the head with this reed, he wore a crown of thorns, a parody of a crown they had given to him. Like the reed, this crown may have been only for mockery, inflicting no pain with the crown’s thorns either pointing away from Jesus’ head to imitate light rays that were supposed to emanate from the head of the divine, or the crown being made of vegetation without thorns. Alternatively, this crown may have had thorns that the soldiers turned inward to dig into Christ’s head. If this were the case, even blows with a light reed would have inflicted pain.

Jesus’ Generous Gift of Humiliation

Jesus then traveled to the site of the crucifixion clothed, but once there he would have been stripped naked before being nailed to the cross. We usually see images of the crucifixion with Jesus having some sort of cloth wrapped around his waist, but this is likely inaccurate. While there is a chance that the Jews pleaded for this allowance for crucifixions in their district to preserve some form of public modesty, it’s more likely that they didn’t care, and even if they did, the Romans likely would not have complied.

As if this indignity were not enough, Jesus then experienced relentless mocking that may have lasted the several hours he hung on the cross. The Roman soldiers, who had begun the mocking with their royalty parody, hurled insults at the man who dared to claim to be a king challenging their emperor. Even their offer of wine was likely further brutality rather than a moment of compassion. The wine may have been a sour drink offered to Jesus as a cruel response to his thirst, or it may have been drinkable wine given to slow his death, thus prolonging his agony. Joining the mocking of the Roman soldiers was the crowd, who questioned why a man who was supposed to have such great power couldn’t save himself. Their taunts to Jesus that “if you are the Son of God” were reminiscent of Satan’s temptations (Mark 4:3, 6), leaving no doubt that the nation of Israel had rejected its Messiah. The leaders, who had clearly rejected Jesus before this, echoed the crowd, but their mocking was done in the third person, further dehumanizing Christ. Finally, the criminals crucified alongside Christ even joined the mocking, theirs perhaps being the vilest of all. With Jesus’ disciples having already abandoning him, this left Jesus completely alone. Well, almost completely.

Jesus’ Generous Gift of Isolation

There was still One with Jesus, but this One was about to abandon him, too. It was time to bear the “cup” that Jesus had prayed to be taken from him if possible. It was not. It was time to bear the weight of sin. In this moment, above all the pain and mocking, as Jesus experienced the greatest horror of the cross, he cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46). Referring to “my God” instead of “my Father” as he usually did hints at the depth of the abandonment he felt. In this moment, Jesus was all alone, with only your sins and my sins to keep him company.² Physical, emotional, and spiritual suffering all collided in this moment, to a degree greater than we can imagine.

This was the death that Jesus chose.

Jesus’ Generous Gift of Selflessness

Yet, amid all this anguish and suffering, Jesus’ loving generosity was on full display. Even as he suffered, Jesus thought of the needs of others above his own. John’s Gospel records Jesus making provision for John to care for his mother, likely a widow in her mid-forties to early fifties with her other sons living out of the region. Beyond that, Jesus extended salvation to one of the criminals being crucified with him, and then interceded on behalf of the very ones who were responsible for his crucifixion. Jesus’ love, a love that compelled him to want to see God give forgiveness to humanity and which prompted him to give his life so generously, was evident in his battered and bloodied body on the cross.

While we often think of Jesus generously giving forgiveness on the cross—and we should—he gave even more than that. Jesus also generously gave us his righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21). Jesus, the obedient and sinless Son of God, stood in the place of sinful humanity and was treated as sin by God. As a result, disobedient and sinful people like us who trust in Jesus are treated as obedient and righteous children of God. This is what radical generosity looks like. This is what we want our kids to live like too.

NEXT: The Hospitality of Jesus

While images of Jesus carrying the entire cross are iconic, they may not be accurate. ↩︎
This concept is debated, with many making an excellent point that Jesus, the Son of God, couldn’t have felt isolation from the Father and Spirit as that would violate the nature of the trinity. ↩︎

The Compassion of Jesus

This is the third of seven core characteristics of Jesus we’ve been called to imitate and thus disciple our kids toward using the ACT Bible Study Method. Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

TLDR: Compassion is having a deep concern for people that prompts us to act. This is what we saw in the ministry of Jesus, and it’s what we are to teach our kids to live like each day.

There’s never a good time to get bad news. It was no different for Jesus. In the midst of a hectic season of ministry, Jesus received word that John was dead (Matt. 14:1–12). John the Baptist was Jesus’ forerunner—the prophet chosen to prepare the way for Christ’s arrival (see Mal. 3:1). Luke tells us that the mothers of Jesus and John were relatives, so that means they were too. We also see their mothers, Mary and Elizabeth, meeting together when they were both pregnant, so it isn’t a stretch to wonder if Jesus and John knew each other growing up. In any case, we know John baptized Jesus and some of Jesus’ disciples had first been John’s disciples. Basically, what I’m getting at here is that John had an important role to play in Jesus’ ministry and they could have been reasonably close.

But then John got into trouble for taking a stand against King Herod marrying his brother’s wife, Herodias. Herod would have loved to put John to death, but he didn’t because he was afraid of what the people would do. The people may have seen John as somewhat odd, but they liked him. Then one day, Herod promised to give Herodias’ daughter anything she wanted, and she asked for John’s head on a platter. Herod had to oblige, and thus John was put to death.

Picture the moment. Jesus has just been told that John is dead. His relative, his forerunner, and perhaps his friend had been executed. We need to resist the urge to paint Jesus as an emotionless stoic. This grieved him. Perhaps greatly. And it surely would have grieved Jesus’ disciples who had been John’s disciples. It also would likely have worried all the disciples. If John wasn’t safe, what made Jesus safe? And if Jesus wasn’t safe, what made them safe?

Caring While Grieving

So, what did Jesus do? Matthew tells us:

Now when Jesus heard this he went away from there privately in a boat to an isolated place.
Matthew 4:13 (NET)

It’s understandable, isn’t it? Jesus wanted some time to get away and process John’s death. But Mark gives us another important detail:

[Jesus] said to them, “Come with me privately to an isolated place and rest a while” (for many were coming and going, and there was no time to eat).
Mark 6:31

If the news about John wasn’t enough, Jesus and the disciples were already worn out. They were tired. They were hungry. Jesus needed to get away and the disciples needed it, too. We can pause here and notice Jesus’ first act of compassion. Even in the middle of his grief, Jesus still thought of others. He still cared for his disciples and wanted what was best for them. And he acted accordingly.

Serving While Grieving

The crowds, however, didn’t permit Jesus and his disciples to rest for long—actually, Jesus and the disciples didn’t even make it to shore to begin resting. Undeterred (and unable to take a hint), the crowd chased after them on foot. I’m an introvert. I don’t like being disturbed in the normal rhythm of life. I can’t imagine what I would have done if I were Jesus in this instance. File this away as reason 26,345,234 why it’s a good thing that I’m not God.¹

But when Jesus got off the boat and saw this persistent, needy crowd, he didn’t respond with indignation, frustration, or resignation. Instead, look at what happened:

As he got out and saw the large crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
Matthew 14:14 (NET, emphasis mine)

He had compassion. Even amid his own distress, he had compassion. Here, we see Jesus set aside his own needs and concerns and feel compassion for the crowds that led him to do something. He healed the sick (Matt. 14:14). And he didn’t do this grudgingly—Luke records that he “welcomed” them (Luke 9:11). That isn’t all he did. Mark noted that Jesus’ saw that the people “were like sheep without a shepherd” so he taught them (Mark 6:34). And then, later he fed them.

Jesus met the physical needs of people because he cared deeply about them, and we should, too. And he didn’t just meet these needs when it was convenient. Neither should we. Compassion cannot be scheduled. We need to help our kids know this. No one in need is ever a disruption. Our acts of compassion can never be done grudgingly. They are to always be done joyfully.

NEXT: The Generosity of Jesus

And those are just the reasons this month. ↩︎

The Humility of Jesus

This is the second of seven core characteristics of Jesus we’ve been called to imitate and thus disciple our kids toward using the ACT Bible Study Method. Learn more about this family discipleship method here.

TLDR: We see the humility of Jesus most clearly not in the details of his birth, but that he was born at all. This mind-boggling humility of Jesus is what we want our kids to imitate.

Nearly every detail of Jesus’ birth whispers humility. Some shout it. The King of kings wasn’t born in a palace surrounded by a royal court of subjects, but rather in a stable surrounded by animals. Even had there been room in Bethlehem’s “inn” (Luke 2:7), it wouldn’t have been the ancient equivalent of the Hyatt. Or even a Motel 6. It would have been more of a public shelter with several families sharing a space. But even that environment wouldn’t have rightly conveyed the jarring disconnect of the Creator taking on a creature’s flesh. Instead, the Son of God was born in a stable, not necessarily because of the poverty of Mary and Joseph, but merely to show the depth to which God would go to redeem humanity. The Savior of the world was then not even laid in a crib, but a manger (or feeding trough), further accenting his humble origin. We’d be right to recoil at seeing any child laid on an animal’s dinner plate. But to see the Son of God lying there is beyond comprehension. Or at least it should be.

Jesus’ first guests, then, wouldn’t be from royalty or even the upper class (they would come later, and surprisingly be Gentiles). Rather the first people to welcome Jesus into the world were shepherds (Luke 2:8–20). Some see the shepherds as representing the outcasts and sinners of society. The thinking is shepherds were lowly regarded in that day. But the evidence to support this isn’t terribly strong. It might be safer to understand these shepherds as representing most of us—ordinary people without positions of power and privilege. These shepherds mirrored the child they came to see—the Son of God who laid aside his privileges in heaven and his position of authority to be born in such an ordinary, lowly state.

Jesus’ Stepping into Creation

These details of Jesus’ birth are shocking, but, again, they weren’t needed to convey his humility. That Jesus was born at all is the ultimate evidence. The Son of God could have been born in the most luxurious of conditions and it still would have been the supreme example of selflessness and humility. This is what Paul wants to show us in Philippians:

⁵You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had,

⁶who though he existed in the form of God
did not regard equality with God
as something to be grasped,
⁷but emptied himself
by taking on the form of a slave,
by looking like other men,
and by sharing in human nature.
⁸He humbled himself,
by becoming obedient to the point of death
—even death on a cross!
Philippians 2:5–8 (NET)

Humility Is Empty-Handedness

Let’s briefly walk through this rich passage that many scholars believe was a hymn or poem used in worship by the early church. First, notice that Christ “did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped” (v. 6).¹ What this doesn’t mean is that Jesus had trouble understanding his equality with the Father and the Spirit. Here, “grasped” isn’t a synonym for “understood.” Instead, it means to “grab” or “hold onto” as the New Living Translation (“as something to cling to”) and International Children’s Bible (“something to be held on to”) make plain. God the Son could have “held on to” his position of authority in heaven with the God the Father and God the Spirit, but he did not. He let that go and came to earth. This is what the next phrase talks about: Jesus “emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature” (v. 7).

Humility Is Lowliness

“Emptying” is another challenging concept in this hymn. Once again, it’s helpful to begin with what we know it’s not saying—that Jesus stopped being God. Jesus is the Son of God. He has always been the Son of God and always will be the Son of God. As such, he is fully God and can be no less. The problem is that when we think of emptying, we think of loss. And for good reason—that’s its normal use. If your gas tank needle is on “empty” it means you have run out of gas. You had gas, but now you don’t. If your coffee mug is empty, it means you have run out of coffee. Deep, distressing loss there. But that isn’t the idea of “emptying” in Philippians 2. How do we know? Because of the little word “by” that follows it. “By” points us to cause—how something happened. “I became rich by not spending any money.” “I drove to Nashville by I-24.” So here, we see that Jesus emptied himself not by losing something, but by adding something—human flesh. In this case, addition leads to loss, not gain. And again, what is it that Jesus lost? His position of authority and glory in heaven next to the Father. Jesus left sitting on a glorious throne to lie in a filthy manger.

Humility Is Sacrifice

As if all of this isn’t enough, the hymn moves from one end of his life to the other, jumping from Jesus’ birth to his death, to provide perhaps an even more profound demonstration of his humility. Jesus “humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross” (v. 8). This is humility heaped upon humility. For the Son of God to take on the flesh and become human is one thing. For him then to live as a servant is another. To have him give his life as a sacrifice is still another. But to have him give his life as a sacrifice on a cross—the lowliest and most painful of deaths reserved for slaves and insurrectionists—was nothing but scandalous. From start to finish, Jesus’ time on earth was marked by profound humility.

As we talk with our kids about humility, we need to set a high bar for what it means. To imitate Christ’s humility is not to downplay ourselves; it’s to die to ourselves. We need to banish any and every barrier that would limit living as servants. No job is too menial, no environment too vile, and no person too unimportant. Our very lives are not our own. Each day we live, we are to live with Christlike humility as we imitate the weakness and strength of the cross.

NEXT: The Compassion of Jesus

This idea of “to be grasped” is a challenging phrase to translate from the original Greek it was written in. The Christian Standard Bible (CSB) prefers “to be exploited.” It’s predecessor, the Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB), translated this phrase as “to be used for his own advantage,” which the New International Version (NIV) also reads. Holman Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2009); The Holy Bible, New International Version (Colorado Springs, CO: Biblica, Inc., 2011). ↩︎